What Do We Know?

My morning routine this spring has been to wake up early with a cup of coffee and listen to the birds sing. Last night I left a few windows open to allow in the fresh air. Instead of walking into the kitchen and consciously choosing to step outside for the premier of Birdsong, I heard the song as though the birds found their way into the house.

What do we know? This or that. Some version of another blah blah. How about proofiness born of some referenced research? What do we know? Anything, nothing, something, everything. Is knowing really worth our time? Seems like the birds know something that alludes us human beings. Are we in their world or are they in ours?

I know this to be true. We are here on this living earth together. Everything living matters. Endings should come naturally or as part of this living systems natural cycles. That’s it. Now back to Birdsong and the lead Cardinal scatting in a call and response.

One and Many

From the first days of getting to know Kelly we learned what seemed like a striking difference between us. Kelly came to her work with a felt sense that she could only support the healing process one person at a time. If your work can change many lives or all of life, why change one so I thought.

We both seek to understand our sensibilities through science and/or evidence. It’s jus a part of how we think. Until it’s not. We equally come to our sense of knowing with no need to prove ourselves. From here we have come to know our unifying theory that one is many and many one. Seeking truth has kept us both up working through difficult times. Seeking truth has calmed in the no-matter-whatness of life.

Over time, we’ve come to know our language around these nuanced ways of seeing things. One night, Kelly listened as I worked through my perspective. When I stopped reframing, she said, “Hold on with a loose grip”. Truth!

Snow Globes in Springtime

I miss my workout. I miss my routine. Yes, I am virus free. But the gym is closed. School is for all practical purposes is not school. All trips and weekly meetings with friends canceled. Zoom sessions aren’t my thing. I’m being resistant about that, I know. The patterns that root me are lost. And may never be the same again for any of us. This could be a good thing, I guess. Potential for making positive changes. Unemployment is at a record high. I am fortunate to still be working although my business has dropped 50%. This, too, could be a good thing. A door cracking open. The door to time. Time with family, myself. Time for projects that i never had time for. All good things, right? I know sometimes things have to be shaken up before improvements can come. I am sure this can be an opportunity.

 But right now my head feels like a shaken snow globe. Everything is floating and shifting. And I am helplessly trying to control the  unsettled flakes by tilting this way or that way – unsuccessfully, of course. Contents of a shaken globe cannot be manipulated nor directed. I know this and yet I keep steering the glass ball as if I have the power to land any of these flakes where I want them. So I give it another frustrated shake and sit resentfully staring into the chaotic swirls. A surrendering sigh escapes. And here it is. Now I get it. The point of a snow globe: Chaos has beauty that can be seen only when we become the stillness it revolves around.    

Chaos is beautiful. Aside from the cliches of “the end is the new beginning” and numerous “eye of the storm” metaphors.- All of which point to the eagerness to leave the chaotic state; Chaos, itself, should be properly appreciated. In fact, it can become mesmerizingly freeing, if we can drop the resistance and  surrender just a moment- a very present moment – to being. Being its center, observing with its proverbial “eye”.  In the peak of chaos, quiet observation is the only effective participation.  In the peak of chaos, there is nothing to be done and there are no answers to be found.  It is the predecessor to the underrated state of wonder. 

Wondering will lead us to the right answers? No! There are no right answers found in chaos. At least not for the duration. In fact, I would argue that answers are never the answer. Answers to yesterdays problems have become outdated belief systems. Over reliance on our unquestioned beliefs is what gets the globe shaken in the first place. A fresh start is what is really needed.

When there are no answers, find new questions. 

Wonder then becomes the springboard for more questions! The question mark is a powerful and terribly underutilized symbol. It carries all possibilities without limits. it is Wonder’s power tool. Wielding this aesthetic squiggle, Wonder is fearless and without judgement, widening our field of vision beyond our practiced boundaries. 

So be the observant eye in the middle of this chaotic, answerless moment. Participate with new questions. Wonder is power. It can turn a snowstorm in a glass ball into a springboard of blossoming potential..


As systems that govern our lives go, politics is as insidious as any and therefore worthy of our time. Considering I don’t have much good to say about either party I’ll write about this sliver of light that has found its way into my view. I certainly wasn’t looking for some silver lining to wash away the disfunction but here it is.

Truth is a tapestry of sounds echoing from one corner of the political spectrum to another. Nothing sacred in either the truth or outright lies. If there were, one party or group, or even one individual would surely rise above and become a light in this time of relative darkness. But this isn’t the light I’m referring to.

My reference to light has come into view and found its way inside me. This light has guided me toward a different response to stories. One that may quietly change the way I come to life. I feel less as I learn more. I know, not exactly a cathartic moment.

My decision to stay on top of the news has been a lifelong commitment filled with angst given the trends toward less civility and willingness to seek a third outcome. In order to suss out the real story, I’ve chosen to read more and more over time to get a better read on the truth. Each year it has become increasingly difficult to keep up with the “news” and less satisfying.

I’m now reading a bit less in measure with my willingness to allow for a little light to shine on the darkness.

A New River Dance

Everything is off. Work is overwhelming or nonexistent. School is in some vague sort of “session”. My kids seemed to have rebelled against the Circadian rhythm and have become nocturnals. Sleep starts and stops in no sense of pattern to allow real relief of the fatigue that comes with #StayAtHome. Currently my rhythm is more of a staccato than a flow. Attempts to #TakeAdvantageOfThisTime with my love for art and painting has been start/stuck/stop/start again. Need more go/flow/glide/sail. Cant seem to fabricate it yet. I am sure, now as I see this written, that I cannot fabricate my rhythm. Anymore than I can fabricate first shift normalcy from this chaos. Pushing harder is not helping. The truth is normalcy has ground to a halt. And the stuck feeling that this causes must be felt and not avoided. Can I savor this staccato as a natural rhythm that needs to express itself to be relieved? After all, you can’t push a river. 

Sometimes there is turbulence to ride through, and sometimes there are bottlenecks and dams. If i can appreciate the beautiful dance that comes with varying rhythms as being more interesting and fulfilling than a single steady beat, I can allow this staccato moment to be that grabbing riff that makes the whole song worth listening to. I am confident in the power of my flow. This damned Corona dam will not be able to contain me. But for now I will #TakeAdvantageOfThisTime by dancing my dance and playing in the provided eddy.